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 Feeling Down

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phoenixgirl
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Female
Number of posts : 54857
Age : 38
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Feeling Down   Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:40 am

Hi all,

Some may have been able to guess that my mood is somewhat down today. I don't know if that's because it's raining outside or that certain things on my comp aren't working today or what not. Anyway, I guess I need to rant out what's bothering me (and yes, I know that this should probably go in the stickyied thread but I have a feeling that this post will be pretty long so that's why I'm making a new thread here).

One word of caution, though. Please don't make any assumptions as to who or what I'm talking about and this is specifically targeted towards Omega and he knows what I'm referring to.

This has been building up inside me for quite some time and I guess it hasn't been completely released out in the open. There's only one person whom I've ever completely talked to about what I'm about to say and she completely agrees with me because she's seen this, too.

A few months ago, I was active on another site. However, that is no longer the case and it's for quite some reasons. First, the owner of that place has personally lied to me as well as to other members regarding certain things. She got me to trust her (and I gave up some friendships to help her out and make things work) and all she did in the end was throw me away like trash, not even once bothering to treat me as a human being and asking how I felt about certain things. What irritates me about this person is that others are completely blind or choose not to see what kind of person she is. They would rather kiss her butt (pardon my language) instead of standing up for what's right.

Also, she has rules regarding bullying but doesn't bother to enforce them. Maybe it's just me but that sounds awfully hypocritical of her to have such rules if she doesn't even bother to enforce them whatsoever. I mean, what's the point of having rules? In addition, the administration that she has hired to help her out actually support the bullying and yet a lot of members there are willing to turn a blind eye on it. To me, that just seems like an uncaring community. When people are attacked, shouldn't others stop that kind of ruthless behavior? From my point of view, if I didn't help out someone who was being bullied by at least standing up to the bullies publicly and saying that behavior is wrong, then I'm just as much part of the problem. That place hurts because I feel like almost no one did that when I was bullied. I truly feel that I had almost no friends there even though I made a lot of effort to be nice and friendly. Crying or Very sad

In addition, aside from the personal things, that place is so full of unethical behavior. I don't want to bring out specific names or whatnot but let's just say that a certain administrator there actually steals and/or rips off ideas from other people and/or places and she doesn't even bother to feel sorry about that. Even if what she does isn't illegal, at the very least, it's very unethical and I can't understand for the life of me how someone like that can get away with such behavior. I know for a fact that this person has stolen ideas from me, from my friends, and others.

Now on top of all that, this is what pushed me over the edge. One of my friends who left that place has actually returned there. Now it didn't upset me that he decided to return there but what upset me is that he lied to me about never going back because last time we talked, he was really adamant about never returning there. He was someone that I trusted a lot, more so than other people, and now I feel that I can't ever trust him again, at least not on the same level as before.

Well, I guess that's it. I just needed to say all of this out there since I trust you all and know that I can be myself and be truthful. I like the community here much better than at that other place because the people here are so much better and true without being mean and hurtful.

Sorry for the rant and all. I've just been through so much these past few months and on top of all that, one of my really close friends having passed away has made things tough on me. At times, I wish I could forget about all that but well, guess nothing can be done to make things right anymore. I suppose there are the dark times and I can only hope for some light in the future (although it seems so far away at the moment).

_________________


Thank you for making my new set, Love.  ^^
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Kaisuto
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Male
Number of posts : 1281
Age : 24
Location : The Road of Redemption
Title : Wondering Sage
Registration date : 2008-07-21

PostSubject: Re: Feeling Down   Thu Oct 23, 2008 5:25 am

Dont worry about it phoenix, im sure we all know the feeling of being used, me especially. being used by everyone you know, family, friends, everyone just lying to you. the worse was at school when i liked 2 girls alot, so i decided on which one i liked more and asked her out, she said maybe and would think about it over the weekend, but monday came and i walked out of my first hour and there she was, tounge kissing another guy, my heart shattered and for the whole month i was depressed, everytime i see her i get alittle sad. then i started to have feeling for my best friend, but she was a lesbian so i was very nervous to ask her out, of course she said no and said im to good of a friend to date. but the next day it was like a month ago allover again, i walked out of my first hour and there she was, tounge kissing another guy. it made me so depressed and angry that i started to sit in the dark hallway with a hood covering my face, ive never really gotten over the pain and at times i still do so. but ur not alone in feeling like you are, we all in a way feel like you do. so all we can do is work together for a better tomorrow, right phoenix-chan? Hug
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phoenixgirl
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Female
Number of posts : 54857
Age : 38
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Feeling Down   Thu Oct 23, 2008 8:05 am

Thanks for comforting me, Kaisuto. I really needed a hug. Smile

It feels better just saying all of that out, even if nothing can be done about it now. At least I'm not hiding the truth anymore.

_________________


Thank you for making my new set, Love.  ^^
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Miss Nile
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Female
Number of posts : 53086
Age : 21
Location : Egypt
Title : Miss of The Grand Nile
Registration date : 2008-02-29

PostSubject: Re: Feeling Down   Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:18 am

Aw, phoenix, I am so sorry you are going through all this and here is a hug from me as well. Hug

I understand how you feel very well. I know how does it feel when everything seems hopeless and the whole world is against you.

Regarding the admin of that site, I totally understand what you mean. It is sad to see people being so heartless and cruel to others and not thinking that we have feelings, too. But those people don't deserve any good. The least we can do, is not be with them. You have done the right thing when you got away from her and from her site. Just try to ignore her and stay away, just like you are now. Such people only deserves ignorant.

Regarding your friend, I guess you might want to ask him why did he return to the site. He may have good reasons, you know? If not, guess some people really change. Shocked

On the top of all that, just remember that we are here for you, phoenix. We are always here to hear and we will never leave you. We are true friends and we are nice, too. Wink

Now cheer up, will you? Alex and Nerine won't be happy when they see you like that. Wink

I hope things get better for you, dear friend. Hug

_________________

-Credits to sprayofcolors for avatar.
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phoenixgirl
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avatar

Female
Number of posts : 54857
Age : 38
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Feeling Down   Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:45 am

Thanks, Love. I'm feeling better now than I was a few hours ago. Guess it might have been due to the rainy weather and all that as well. Wink

Well, I thought about confronting my friend regarding the situation but I'll do that if/when I'm ready. I know that if I talk to him right now about it, it'll sound like an attack and I don't want him to feel like I'm assaulting him. lol I'll give it some time and see how things go.

And no worries. I'm cool now so Alex and Nerine can be happy again. Wink

_________________


Thank you for making my new set, Love.  ^^
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seraphic22
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Male
Number of posts : 140
Age : 31
Location : Australia
Registration date : 2008-10-15

PostSubject: Re: Feeling Down   Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:50 am

sorry I wanted to say something earlier but I have had too much pressure on me today.

Their isn't much left to say and I'm glad you are feeling better. Confronting the friend might be hard but you have to do it at some time. I would recommend by email so you can clearly say what you need without sounding as if you are attacking him, they are wonderful things since they can seem spontaneous but you can spend hours paining over the thing.

Anyway I think you should just go take a nice long warm bath with a good book, just let all your stress float away at least for a while.
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Kaisuto
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Male
Number of posts : 1281
Age : 24
Location : The Road of Redemption
Title : Wondering Sage
Registration date : 2008-07-21

PostSubject: Re: Feeling Down   Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:30 am

starting next week i might seen alittle down, but dont be alarmed its around that time where alot of bad things happened in my life
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Xemgoa-XematlXuurarg
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Male
Number of posts : 496
Age : 29
Location : Classified
Title : The Omega Weapon
Registration date : 2008-06-12

PostSubject: Re: Feeling Down   Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:21 pm

... Pheonix...

... Im sorry i... dont know what to say. But wish you a brand new future that even should that place ever be mentioned it would be as harmless as a flea. easy to flick off and carry on and another year of a clean bill of health and beauty that far surpasses everyones beauty.

...Im just sorry from before as well. I guess thats what happened to me when i put my heart into the internet too much.

*lowers head, pulls tail between legs*

I just hope you have a...Loving day.

...I love you sister.
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phoenixgirl
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avatar

Female
Number of posts : 54857
Age : 38
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Feeling Down   Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:41 am

Thanks for the support, everyone. I really do appreciate it. Smile

I guess this week has been one of those weird ones, you know? Meh, like earlier in the week, this crazy woman harasses me on my cell (but fortunately I was able to block her) and then this happens. Then I find out today that my dad is getting on my case about my bad habit (buying a lot of comp games lol). But I understand where he's coming from, the economy and all being so bad at the moment. But I am pretty careful about my money and it was only recently that I started spending it again.

I suppose I should look at the good things that I have and just hope that the rest of the week goes by without any other incidents happening.

_________________


Thank you for making my new set, Love.  ^^
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Xemgoa-XematlXuurarg
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Male
Number of posts : 496
Age : 29
Location : Classified
Title : The Omega Weapon
Registration date : 2008-06-12

PostSubject: Re: Feeling Down   Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:06 am

Thats...Good i think, Pheonix =3
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