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 Play-ish thingie... yeah...

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mepwnn
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.


Male
Number of posts : 41
Age : 21
Location : Closer than you think O_O Just kidding
Title : pwns!
Registration date : 2009-09-13

PostSubject: Play-ish thingie... yeah...   Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:09 pm

It's something I wrote for the Speech and Debate club, I'm doing
Original Prose and Poetry (no need for poetry, from what I saw at the
MV showcase...).

I'd just like some extra opinions/edits on
this before I make a final copy to practice and present at the
tournament in about a month (please help me!)

Spoiler:
 
I recommend you copy paste this into Microsoft Word or any word
processor, then try double spacing it. I apologize in advance for the
length and possible unoriginality of it, but that's why I'm trying to
get some extra opinions on it.

Thanks!

EDIT: This URL has the attachment for download, but you'll need an account to view it, unfortunately. I can't find the attachments on here
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phoenixgirl
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avatar

Female
Number of posts : 55041
Age : 38
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Play-ish thingie... yeah...   Thu Sep 17, 2009 12:02 am

Hi mepwnn,

I'll go ahead and take a look at your submission when I get the chance. Fortunately, I'm an expert when it comes to grammar, spelling, and all that. Part of my profession and all. Wink

Regarding attachments, I don't think it's possible to add attachments here. I checked and I'm not sure if it's possible. Love would know the answer to that for sure, though.

_________________


Thank you for making my new set, Love.  ^^
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mepwnn
.
.


Male
Number of posts : 41
Age : 21
Location : Closer than you think O_O Just kidding
Title : pwns!
Registration date : 2009-09-13

PostSubject: Re: Play-ish thingie... yeah...   Thu Sep 17, 2009 12:03 am

Darn it >_< No attachments...

Thanks for that, phoenix. Really appreciate it ^_^
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phoenixgirl
.
.
avatar

Female
Number of posts : 55041
Age : 38
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Play-ish thingie... yeah...   Thu Sep 17, 2009 12:11 am

No problem. ^^ It's too bad that we can't use attachments here. It may be due to the server host or something? Not really that tech saavy so I don't know. lol

Anyway, I'll look at your writing and give critique when I get the chance. I'd do it right now but man, I have a busy day here.

_________________


Thank you for making my new set, Love.  ^^
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phoenixgirl
.
.
avatar

Female
Number of posts : 55041
Age : 38
Location : Somewhere in New Domino looking for the love of my life ^^
Title : Hoping to be Yusei's greatest love
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Play-ish thingie... yeah...   Sat Sep 19, 2009 7:49 am

Hi mepwnn,

I got a chance to read your writing over and it's pretty good. I didn't find many grammar mistakes. I think there weren't any spelling mistakes at all, which is impressive (assuming that this is a first draft but maybe you reviewed it before submitting it here?).

I felt engaged as I read it. I'm curious to know exactly where this takes place. I know that it involves a battle but there's no detail as to location, unless that's done on purpose.

_________________


Thank you for making my new set, Love.  ^^
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mepwnn
.
.


Male
Number of posts : 41
Age : 21
Location : Closer than you think O_O Just kidding
Title : pwns!
Registration date : 2009-09-13

PostSubject: Re: Play-ish thingie... yeah...   Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:48 pm

Thanks for reading it, Phoenix, greatly appreciated.

The location of the battle originally was set for the Rocky's, but later decided against that since it wouldn't really fit the scenario, if you know what I mean. I might make it somewhere in the Great Plains in the end Razz

Thanks again Very Happy
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