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 Yup, I Had A Crush On Him

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Miss Nile
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PostSubject: Yup, I Had A Crush On Him   Fri Apr 06, 2012 4:44 pm


Yup, I Had A Crush On Him


Gentleness.
All I needed was gentleness. All I ached for was some gentleness. All I needed was some gentleness. Gentleness to make me feel secure. To make me feel like I still belong to this world. To make me feel like I still exist with the people around me.

But I found no one to give me that feeling. I found no one to make me feel like I still got a family there. Not my parents. Not my sister. No one. Well, no one but him.

Yes, him. That guy who with such a simple gesture, returned all the feelings of gentleness I had been missing all the time. With such a simple, small move, he made me feel a lot better.

“Happy Birthday, Rosaline. It’s not much but thank you for being the wonderful friend that you are.”

And he called me a friend. A wonderful friend. That word I hadn’t been called with for so long. So long. Even though we just met a day ago, hardly spent any time together, and in the little time we talked in, we argued or messed up around each other. I even tried to kill his wife. But there I was, in his arms, as he hugged me ever so gently, and said those few but sweet words to me.

I blushed, and I blushed deeply. I am not usually shy around anyone but for some reason, I didn’t know what to say. All I could reply with was, other than my stupid blush,

“Thank you…thank you very much.”

I started to cry softly on his shoulder. It just touched me, moved me so much. It didn’t help either that I had been crying before. They all forgot that it was my birthday too, and when they noticed it, no one cared to apologize except him. My sister’s husband. Just him.

He continued to hold me close as I cried, comforting me through my pain.

“Hey, you’re my friend. Don’t forget that, ok?”

He paused a moment, and I wiped my tears and stopped crying. If I could ever go back in time, if I ever had the chance to return to that moment, I would have controlled my tears and shut them in. I would have allowed him to hold me close but without my tears soaking his shoulder. But then perhaps…he wouldn’t have held me as long, and I had enjoyed that hug.

He then gave me one of his sweet smiles and said,

“Your parents are downstairs. Would you like me to escort you to see them? I believe they’d like to wish you a Happy Birthday, too.”

Darn it. We were having such a sweet moment. Why the hell did you have to mention my parents and spoil it? I replied, keeping it short, “That would be nice.”

He held out his hand to me then and replied, “All right then. Let’s go downstairs together, shall we?”

I took his hand and nodded, but just as we were going downstairs, I stopped and stopped him with me, then asked the stupidest question that could ever be asked,

“Umm…just wondering. Why did you hug me like that earlier?”

Right. I was asking him why did he hug me. Even though I enjoyed it. I am such an idiot. Idiot. I-d-i-o-t. Idiot!

I could tell by his face that he was surprised, and I didn’t really blame him. What kind of question the hell was that, Rosaline?

“You’re my friend or at least I hope we are. It was thoughtless of me to forget about your birthday and I hope that you can forgive me. A hug was all I could do but anyone whom I care about, I give them a hug.

Well, we should go downstairs, right?”

Why were you in such a hurry to go downstairs? For some reason, I wanted to stay with him for just a bit more-alone, that is. Without anyone taking his attention. I loved having his attention. I don’t know if that was the reason I continued,

“You…could have done that without the hug.”

I made it sound like I was annoyed by the hug. Great. Amazing. I was officially regarding myself as a big idiot. And on the top of that, I was blushing. Wonderful. Just wonderful.

“Umm did I do something wrong? I’m sorry if I was too forward in wishing you a Happy Birthday.”

I quickly smiled and shook my head, then tried to reply, “Uhh no, no! It’s just that…that…”

That what? I was simply embarrassing myself. Why the hell was I even so stuttering and messing up? Usually, I know what the hell I am doing and why I am doing it. I’d just give my words and not care whatever anyone thought. But here I was in front of him, embarrassing myself and it was like putting a big sign over my head that read, ‘I am an idiot!’

I didn’t know if it was my thoughts that caused the blush to deepen, whether I was embarrassed or whether it was that I was feeling some butterflies in my stomach. But all I know is that I saw him approach me closer, and closer, till our faces were inches away. I could swear that our noses would touch had one of us moved a bit.

“What’s wrong? Is there anything I can do to help? Are you sick?”

I didn’t reply immediately, I took a few seconds to stare into those dark brown eyes of his. I found them attractive for a moment there, that in that very moment, I actually thought of…

But snapping out of my craziness, I replied, “N-No, I am fine. But you know, that was just…embarrassing and all.”

I was stuttering too much, I was blushing too red, and I was acting completely absurdly. I wanted to kick myself just then.

But then, he slowly reached out to touch my chin and made me look at him.

“Hey, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you with the hug. I wanted to show you how much you mean to me and that I’ll always be there for you, no matter what. You don’t ever have to feel like you’re alone again, ok?

Now I’m sure the others must be wondering where we are. We wouldn’t want to keep them waiting, now would we?”

God, the gentle way by which he talked, how simple it sounded, how delicate and caring it was. I could have sworn on my life that I had no one talk to me in such a beautiful way. I was nothing but rude to him and that was he regarded me still. That I mean a lot to him. That he’ll be there for me, no matter what.

We went down after that, and we saw my parents there, who said a Happy Birthday and whatnot to me. For some reason, after Alex had given me that hug and comforted me, I no longer cared about anyone else. I didn’t care if all of them forgot it. It was enough for me that he did-and he was such a sweetheart about it.

For a little bit of time, I thought how lucky I was that he was married to my sister so it meant that I’d be always around him. I really enjoyed his company. I thought that Rosalind was pretty lucky to have a husband like him, so gentle, so sweet and so caring. Yup, she was definitely lucky.

Or so I thought.

Because it was all destroyed in a few minutes. We found out that Alex was cheating on her with another woman. And that woman happened to be a very old friend of mine-We saw and silently acknowledged each other, but not a word was spoken between us. And because Rosalind was my sister, I had to be on her side, and against his. But I couldn’t. I simply couldn’t.

Yet they wanted me to talk to him. Me, out of all the others. Oh wait. There were no others.

Just me.

And so I went to him. Wanting an explanation. I was pretty angry at him for hurting my sister, but I wasn’t that angry. I mean, such a gentle, adorable, sweet guy like him cheating on his wife? He must have had a reason. A pretty good one.

“Hey, lover boy. We need to talk.”

That was the first thing I said to him when he opened the door of her home. He looked pretty surprised, I could tell, or scared, I think. But I wasn’t going to eat him. Sure, he looked pretty delicious but…

Anyways, he led me inside. I asked him to explain. He asked me what to explain. What to explain. God, he couldn’t tell what did he need to explain?

“Why did you cheat on Rosalind? She was pretty angry and devastated that she couldn’t stop talking about killing Nerine!”

He looked pretty shocked that immediately, he replied, “What?! But Nerine is innocent in all of this.”


“I never meant to cheat on Rosalind and in some ways, I still feel very deeply for her. But as I spent time with Nerine, my heart started to fall in love with her. I knew that Nerine was in love with me but that’s not why I fell in love with her. She accepted me for myself and made me feel alive and special, not that Rosalind didn’t make me feel that way but...maybe things were too rushed between Rosalind and me. I really wish I had remembered what had happened when I was under that love potion but I don’t. I didn’t even know that I married your sister until after the potion wore off. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have rushed things.

I do care for Rosalind and a part of me always will but Nerine has captured my heart. Please don’t blame her for any of this. I am to blame. I shouldn’t have fallen for Nerine and if the truth had never been discovered, I would have stayed with Rosalind out of loyalty and responsibility as a husband. Nerine understood that and we had a mutual understanding that we would never be together.”

He hung his head down after that, but I hardly noticed. God, he made such an innocent speech about it that I felt like going up to him, taking him in my arms and hugging him. He spoke in such a gentle, innocent way that I could have fallen in love with him myself. Except that I didn’t, and I knew I didn’t.

I think that was the reason why I suddenly felt my anger vanish. I felt it disappear and I was like, going to his side. No, don’t misunderstand. I felt sorry for my sister but for some reason, I wanted him to win over.

“I don’t know what to say, Alex. I know it’s not Nerine’s fault and even if it is, I don’t think she deserves to be killed. And I understand your feelings, for some reason I don’t know. And to be honest with you, I don’t know who’s fault it is. Maybe it’s yours and maybe it’s Rosalind’s. You should have told Rosalind everything, at least this way she may have understood you and accepted your feelings. But now she thinks you are betraying her. And maybe it’s hers...for over reacting like this.”

As soon as I finished speaking, I thought about how nice I sounded. Wow. So nice. Good job on that, Alex.

I could see the surprised look on his face but I couldn’t understand why. Surely, I was a devil, and I had a short temper, and I could be pretty angry, and I could be pretty much of a shrew but…okay, I see now.

He then came up to me and held both of my hands, a beautiful smile on his face. In his. I don’t know why, but I blushed. A sweet, pretty, red blush. Across my face. Dancing all over.

“Thank you for understanding. I know that Rosalind is your sister and I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had hurt me for hurting her. I-I don’t know what to do now, though. I know that I need to talk to Rosalind about all of this but only when she’s ready. After that, I don’t know.”

I stared at him for a moment but managed to snap out of it before I get taken in by staring into his eyes. I replied,

“Uh, you’re welcome. I-I don’t know about Rosalind though. She seems mentally broken or something.”

He nodded and replied, “I never meant to hurt Rosalind like this. In fact, I had never expected her to find out at all about Nerine and me. But I should have known better. The truth has ways of coming out in the end. I’ll talk to Rosalind when things have cooled down.”

Till that point, I could understand hear pretty well. But then he just had to say something too sweet,

“You know, Rosalind is very lucky to have such a kind, caring sister as you. I hope she sees that.”

Man, trust me, but I had never felt my cheeks hotter than that very moment. Me, kind? Caring? From you, Alex, when I tried to kill you just a few days ago? When I tried to kill my very own sister? Right, I liked that guy. I really liked him.

“Ahh, thanks. Um, anyway, I should probably go back to Mum and Dad to tell them everything. Otherwise, you might suffer at their hands a lot.”

That was the best thing I could say? I wanted to stay with him a bit more, to have him hold my hands like that and look into my eyes and shut up. But there I was, telling him that I had to go. I wanted to slap myself. I really wanted to.
And so, I left him. That was the last time I ever saw him for quite a while. But he didn’t leave my thoughts. He didn’t. If anything, I was as upset as Rosalind was because he left her. I mean, I loved having him around. He was such a delicate thing. I’d miss him, I knew that.

I just didn’t know that I could find my sister forgetting about him so easily. So when I was out searching for her after she had run off, and I met that guy, I was pretty pissed off.

I was walking and still searching, calling, doing everything I could. And suddenly I saw a black-haired guy calling me Rosalind.

“Sorry, sir, but I am not Rosalind. Who are you?”

The guy looked pretty confused, and then replied,

“Rosalind, don’t you know who I am? It's me, Greg. We met earlier today when we bumped into each other, talked in the park...”

Oh, so Rosalind was hanging out with a guy while I was out in the streets searching for her. For some reason, the thought made me take a dislike to my sister, and a similar dislike to this guy. Replying, I said,

“Sir, I am not Rosalind. My name is Rosaline. If you are talking about my sister, then I am not her. I am her twin sister.”

His confusion was cleared and so he went on explaining to me how he had met her and they spent the day together. For some reason, I didn’t like him. He knew that Rosalind had a very recent break up yet he was hanging around her. I didn’t like the thought. I didn’t like it. And I didn’t like him. At all.

And what happened next did it. He offered to take me home. That’s very nice of him and all, but I replied that I could take care of myself. You know what he said? I’ll let you know what he said,

“Umm did I say something wrong? I only wanted to offer to take you home, especially after what happened to Rosalind earlier tonight. There are some dangerous thugs lurking about and they might attack any beautiful lady that's walking about.”

Oh really? You’ve been spending the day with my sister and now you are flirting with me? What kind of thing---

“I told you, I don’t want anyone with me! Humph, men!”

I went off angrily on my own, wanting to get away as much as possible from that horrible guy. But then I felt him catch my arm and stop me. Oh how dare you---

“Please, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to imply that you can't take care of yourself. I'm sure that you can. It's just that better safe than sorry, you know? And umm, if anything were to happen to someone that Rosalind cares for, I would never forgive myself. Your sister is very special but I know she's going through a difficult time so I'm not going to push. All I want is her friendship for now and I'd like yours, too.”

I swear that had I not gone away from him sooner, I would have jumped at him and eaten his head off. Literally. I was a devil and I could do it. It didn’t help that I was pretty hungry too.

But trying to control my temper, my hunger and my temptation, I replied,

“Fine. Can you let go of my arm now?”

Fortunately for him, he let go, apologized and went on his way. And I went on my own. But that didn’t make me feel any better. I didn’t want to see that guy again. Ever. Ever!


The next day, I was all alone in the house. My parents went back to their temple, and my sister had gone on what seemed to be a date with her so-called Greg. Oh wait, they said it wasn’t just a friends’ hanging out. Yeah, right.

I kept lurking around with no aim whatsoever. At one point, I tried to make myself something to eat. Ended up having to spend the whole afternoon trying to clean the kitchen out of the earthquake I caused.

So what did I do? I kept walking around. At another point, I stood in front of my room. That same place he hugged me. Man, how I ached for another hug. Oh, Alex, just another hug.

I went downstairs and I kept thinking. How foolish Rosalind was to let such a sweet guy go like that. If I were in her place, instead of trying to kill his new beloved, I’d go to him, remind him of our love, give him a few kisses, here and there and he’d be on my feet again. Not leave him for some Greg.

I kept looking around and I found a music box in one of the drawers. Curious, I switched it on and a sweet, pretty song played. Now I wasn’t a fan of music, but I loved dancing. So naturally, my feet began to take me away and since I had the house all to myself, I kept dancing myself away.

Thinking about him.

My mind momentarily wandered to a kiss we shared when he thought I was Rosalind. At that time, I broke it off disgustingly although I should have returned it. Now if he had kissed me again, that very moment, I would have lovingly wrapped my arms around him and passionately returned it…

Except that he was gone, and I was in my dream world. That was a pretty song playing, that. I kept dancing with myself and not for a moment did I get my head away from him. I remembered the hug, the kiss, the looks. The eyes. Oh darn those eyes. Those sweet eyes.

I eventually got tired of dancing. Cleaning the kitchen worn me out. And in the end, I got nothing to eat. So I was both tired and hungry. And I was lonely. Man, Alex, where were you when I actually needed a hug? Just take me in those strong arms of yours, engulf me with your warmth and I’d feel all better…

I laid down on the coach and before long, I was fast asleep. And I had pretty dreams. All about him. All about him.

Then I was suddenly awakened.

And I saw him.

Oh no, not Alex. I wished.

No. I saw Greg.

With that big body of his.

Most horrible sight ever.

And I was hungry.

Really hungry.

I jumped out when I saw him in my face, looking at me as I slept. Rosalind was with him. Arm-in-arm. Uh-huh.
“What are you doing here!?”

He replied, as he looked at Rosalind with a loving look,

“Umm, well, you see, Rosalind invited me over for dinner and how could I refuse the invite of such a beautiful woman?”

That was it. I ran upstairs to my room before I find myself jumping on him and having the first human meal in my life. Not that it would have been tasty, but whatever.

I went to my room and I lay on my bed. Damn, I was having the most beautiful dreams about Alex only to be awakened and see Greg. What a nightmare.

I actually had to stick around that guy because he suddenly became the new love interest of my sister. I hated more of it.

And Alex was one of the reasons I hated him.

Because I hoped, that perhaps, just perhaps, he might return to Rosalind, and I’d have him around me again. Have him hug me again. I wanted that.

But it was all over. All because of that Greg. I hated him. I hated him. Every letter of his name. I couldn’t stand him.

But as I closed my eyes and tried to get back to sleep, I noticed something. I realized it.

Yup.

That was surely it.

Definitely. No doubt.

I had a crush on Alex.

Yup, I had a crush on him. And what a sweet crush it was.

Wished it continued. Wished you were around more, Alex.



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Last edited by Miss Nile on Sat Apr 07, 2012 12:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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phoenixgirl
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PostSubject: Re: Yup, I Had A Crush On Him   Sat Apr 07, 2012 12:07 am

Awww, that was such a beautiful story, Love. I really liked it. ^^ There are times that I wished that Rosaline and Alex could have gotten together. Alex needs someone like Rosaline to knock some sense into him. XD

And the part about Greg cracked me up. Laughing But it does explain why Rosaline can't stand him. Good thing that Bryan came along afterwards and now Rosaline isn't anywhere near Greg. Razz

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PostSubject: Re: Yup, I Had A Crush On Him   Sat Apr 07, 2012 12:43 pm

Thanks, phoenix. ^^ I tried to make the story as funny as possible, a break out of the depressing things I've been writing lately. xD Since Rosaline was the most humorous of my characters, I had to write with her. xD

And yup, I definitely agree about Alex and Rosaline. Razz I wish they could be together too, and I doubt Alex would have even wanted to look at other women. XD

Hmm, makes me wonder if they could actually see each other again had Ryan and Lisianthus fallen in love and they tried to get them back. They could make a team-up or something. lol

And lol about Greg. Razz Rosaline herself admits that she had trouble controlling her devious side when she was around him XD. Had Bryan not taken her away from him, she wouldn't have guaranteed that Rosalind wouldn't find her husband eaten one day. xD

Ahh and oops. I forgot to put my usual disclaimer. Teaches me not to post anything in a hurry again. lol Here we go:


DISCLAIMER: Alexander Carnahan and Greg Winters both don't belong to me. They are characters created by phoenixgirl and all their actions and dialogues are written by her.


There, now that feels better. xD

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